


The Sheriff's Little Helper

by DarkAthena (seraphim_grace)



Series: Inconvenient Relatives [4]
Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Domovoi - Freeform, Gen, Trolling, he orders himself a petbed from amazon, house elf, master does not give dobby a sock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphim_grace/pseuds/DarkAthena
Summary: The house has been empty since Stiles went to college, so he brings his father back to help with that - a house elf.





	The Sheriff's Little Helper

Sheriff Stilinski had told the station he was going to be unavailable except for the town being on fire before he left for the airport to pick up his son from his first semester at university in Kyoto.

The house had been empty without him, and he kept expecting to come home to the general chaos of Stiles just being in the house, but he wasn't and the house was dark and empty in a way it had never been before. He was considering adopting the station's elderly K9 unit, although there was talk that would be a knock down drag down fight with two of his deputies to give the old dog a home, as he might have seemed terrifying but was a giant ball of fur and affection and the one time he had chased down a perp it had been to smother him in kisses. He was a good dog, and everyone in the station adored him, so opening his home to Marvin, as he had been called, was appealing.

Or he could start talking to Deaton again, although after what happened Deaton was lucky it was just that no one was talking to him, and see about adopting from him.

Then there was a big shelter down in Beacon Valley that was a no kill, perhaps he could find himself something there that wouldn't mind being alone for hours on end, could join him on long walks and be something in the house.

It was something that he would have to discuss with his son because he couldn't exactly have him come home from college, and thank god that Bruce said just call for the jet, use it to come home if you need to come home in regards to Stiles being in Japan.

Stiles needed to be in Japan, and the Sheriff understood that, and if he wasn't in Japan he would have been in Berkeley or one of the other schools he had applied to, and the Sumeragi clan were really cool about even letting him attend university because he wasn't there to further his education, well not in mundane matters, he was there to get his magic and his new fox spirit under control, and he skyped his dad at least once a week but the house was still empty and he had been working hours that long that Parrish had once lured him out on what he thought was a call and sent him home, making sure he stayed there for one whole day to rest.

Then there were the days when Derek showed up, always with food, and they spent the evening talking around the fact that they both missed Stiles. So when the calendar showed that it was the day to go pick Stiles up from the airport he didn't care if the town WAS on fire he was driving out to meet him.

\---

Stiles had been adamant that the sheriff wait for him outside the airport, there was no point waiting inside unless it was raining, there were too many people and too much noise to make it easy to find him inside, but if he waited in the car and texted Stiles to tell him where he was parked, but the urge to make it easier to find him, to see him minutes earlier, was kind of overwhelming, so he had the radio on so he could distract himself.

He didn't whoop when Stiles told him he had gotten through security and was on his way.

What he didn't expect was to see was the small child that was holding Stiles hand. Except as Stiles told the child to wait as he put his luggage, and that of the child, who had been wearing a rucksack with what looked like a panda on it, into the trunk, the sheriff couldn't help but notice that there was something off about the child. It wasn't anything he could immediately put his finger on, the child looked to be about three or four, certainly no older, in a red jumper with a duck on it, and a green tee, and a mop of hair that looked pink. 

"Hey dad," Stiles said as he helped the child unto the back seat, "this is Dom," then with the child belted into the back, he went around to the passenger side.

"Stiles," his father said looking for an explanation.

"Dom's a domovoi," Stiles said, "he wanted a house of his own and I figured you had an empty house, and well, it seemed like a good match." He drummed his hands on his lap, "man, I'm wired after the flight, I think I ate my weight in sugar and Pepsi."

"Did you get any sleep?" he asked, trying to avoid the elephant, or small child - in this case, sitting in the back seat.

"Nah, Dom did, I just started work on my holiday homework, some of the reading was really boring so the skittles came out, and then Pepsi Max, and well, I got through it." 

In the backseat, the child said something in a language that very much did not sound like Japanese, but the sheriff's own ability in that language was a few phrases he had picked up from action movies. Stiles raised an eyebrow at the child over his shoulder, "English, Dom," he chided.

To which the child replied with an emphatic "No."

The sheriff waited five minutes, ten, fifteen before he spoke, or at least it felt that long which meant that Nilsson's Without You was a lot longer than the sheriff had previously thought, before he said "Explain."

"Explain what?" Stiles genuinely looked surprised that he was being asked this.

"There is a toddler in the back of the rental car I hired to pick you up, and he seems to have pulled a cookie from somewhere," the child grinned at the sheriff with suspiciously pointed teeth.

"He's a domovoi, I thought you'd like some company, and Obaachan, I mean Sumeragi-sama, said you could have him." Stiles seemed content to leave it at that.

"You can't just give away kids, Stiles, you should know that there are so many laws involved here." The sheriff couldn't believe his son was so blase about what appeared to be international child trafficking.

"He's a domovoi, Dad," Stiles protested, suggesting that the sheriff should understand what this word meant and why it seemed to completely overrule international law.

"Speak to me like I'm an idiot here, why is there a child in the back of the car?"

"Hi," the child said waving about his soggy cookie which he had been sucking on for it seemed to be as tough as ship's tack.

"He's a domovoi," Stiles repeated and watched his father's face shift from a consternated expression to something akin to rage, "he's a house elf, though he doesn't like that word, it's kind of insulting. The compound in Kyoto has a few of them, he wanted a house of his own and you were complaining the house was empty, so here, have a domovoi."

"So it's a type of goblin?" the sheriff asked causing the thing in the back seat to hiss at him, those sharp little teeth on display again.

"That word is really insulting," Stiles corrected him, "and it's not a good idea to piss off a domovoi, he'll look after the house and keep you company in exchange for honey graham crackers and Farley's Rusks, that's what he's eating now," he appeared to be gnawing on them with his sharp little teeth, teeth that looked like they would be better suited to a piranha, and were more than a little disconcerting, "but piss him off and it's backed up toilets and sewage coming out of the kitchen sink," the domovoi smiled with all of those sharp little needle teeth making sure that the sheriff was sure that he was not afraid to react like that.

"But domovoi are awesome," Stiles continued, "they belong to the house, so getting one to agree to even check out a house is a big deal, and for honey and sugar, you couldn't pay someone to care as much as he will, isn't that right, Dom?" 

Dom answered something in a sing-song manner that was clearly not English.

"I think he's shy," Stiles said, "he can speak English perfectly, he understands everything we say, he's just being a little butt."

"Butt!" Dom answered and then happily went back to gnawing on his cookie.

"Dad, do you think we can swing by the grocery store on the way home?" he asked, "I have a craving for Twinkies that is almost obscene."

"Cookies," the Domovoi said, "Cookies?!" he got a little louder, kicking his feet, which had a pair of light up sneakers on them, against the driver's seat.

The Sheriff was not prophetic but he had the terrible suspicion that this was not going to be a good thing and maybe having an empty house would be better.

\--

Walmart was quiet at this time of day, being mostly extreme couponers and people taking advantage of it being just before the school run to pick up milk, and he had the car for the entire week so he wasn't worried about people recognising him, because they had the terrible habit of talking to him when he was trying to get in and out in the shortest time possible. 

He was always recognised by women who either wanted to become the next Mrs Stilinski or wanted to congratulate him on something that had happened years before he had become a deputy, they meant well but it was exhausting hearing about how someone's cat had been rescued years ago now, or wasn't it nice that he had taken in that nice Hale boy. He hadn't but Stiles was dating him so he supposed it counted. So he hoped to be in and out and let Stiles fill the cart with healthy things and pretend to listen so they could get home and he could appreciate having someone else in the house.

Stiles seemed keen to leave the elf in the car, which surprised the sheriff because you did not leave small kids in cars even if it was winter. So the sheriff rebuked him even as he let the elf out of the car, and it was a with a "ha" look that the elf raised one cookie sticky hand up to take the Sheriff's. And he did get the terrible suspicion he was getting played. He had raised Stiles, and he was used to the feeling.

He got a trolley and gave in to the elf's demands of "up, up" to put him in the seat and wondered if the child shouldn't have a sweater with him.

"Dad, he's an elf, he doesn't need clothes." Stiles repeated, "he just looks like a child. His eyes are purple and his hair is pink, have you seen his teeth, he's not human, he doesn't need more clothes."

"Butt!" Dom said clearly. 

The sheriff pushed the trolley into clothing and picked up a few packets of child's briefs, some toddler jeans, guessing at the age for size, and some tee shirts and sweaters, then a winter coat and some wellington boots. He had gotten rid of Stiles' clothes to goodwill as he had outgrown them. He didn't have anything a small child could wear.

Stiles just rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Nothing in the pile was particularly expensive and with Stiles' college fees being covered by Jason Blood, after a long harangue by Sumeragi-sama after which Blood would have agreed to anything just to make it stop, the sheriff wouldn't complain too much about it, he'd just charge it to Stiles' college account.

Then they got to the cookie aisle and the previously content demon sat in the trolley's child seat suddenly started reaching and stretching for anything that struck the sheriff as being so full of sugar even Stiles, with his unending love for Hostess snack cakes, would try.

Stiles picked up several packets of cookies, a few boxes of honey cinnamon grahams and just shoved the trolley on by. The sheriff expected a tantrum but instead Stiles just got a flinty-eyed stare and what looked like a pout, then the imp put one hand into the pocket of his jumper, the pocket adorned with a yellow duck, and pulled out the half of his rusk biscuit that he had clearly been saving for later, and started gumming on it in a way that was surprisingly menacing.

Several large bottles of soda went into the trolley as Stiles pointed out that they just tasted wrong in Japan, assuming you could get them because people didn't really drink them, and yeah sure, pocari sweat didn't taste nearly as bad as the name suggested but he just missed cherry coke.

He was chattering on about stupid things he found in Japan like how everyone cycled and it wasn't a big deal, but there was still loads of cars, and everyone was polite and passive aggressive, and his professor couldn't say his name but he tried and Stiles found it hilarious when he tried because he mastered Srdechni-Draha with no issue but got tongue tied over Stilinski.

He paid at the checkout whilst the cashier looked so dead-eyed they probably could have scanned a corpse without her noticing unless it appeared twice on the receipt.

She quirked an eyebrow at the child in the trolley who seemed more interested in a large sticky lollipop than anything else but she'd had the sort of day that even that kind of gossip didn't interest her.

\---

They pulled up to the Stilinski house and Stiles practically fell out of the car seat, before opening the back door for the gremlin, which had barely stopped eating sweet things but seemed eager to get into the house now they had arrived at it, pushing in past the sheriff as Stiles got his luggage, which was probably mostly laundry, out of the trunk.

The gremlin sniffed around, opened a few cupboard doors and ran his fingers, sticky as they probably were, over table tops, looked at the sheriff and mused "mine?"

"If you want it," Stiles said.

"Mine," the goblin said clearly, walked to the cupboard under the stairs, and opened the door, started rooting around amongst the pairs of shoes, old coats and cleaning materials that found their way there through the life of a house, grinned, exclaimed "mine" and slammed the door behind him.

"What the hell?" the sheriff asked.

"He's decided that's his now, just keep the graham cookies in the kitchen and he'll do the rest."

"Stiles, I'm not getting this, why the hell does he want to live in the cupboard under our stairs, what's he going to do, sleep on a pile of old coats? We have a perfectly good spare bedroom, and you can empty out the boxes and things that we put in there since Isaac went to college." 

"Dad," Stiles said flopping down on the couch, "he's a house elf, like Dobby. He isn't a kid, and it's not something you have to worry about." He lolled, "and I think the traveling took a lot out of him,"

"How?" the sheriff said sitting down facing him. He wasn't even sure what he was asking for an explanation of.

"Do you really want the answer to that?" Stiles asked, "you know how confused you get when I try to explain these things before deciding the best answer is" he held out his hands and wiggled his fingers "magic."

Stiles had a point there. 

Since the sheriff had been introduced to the world of the supernatural and werewolves, and damn if it hadn't explained a lot, with Dick sitting him down with Irish coffees, Alfred's recipe which was more Irish than coffee, and there had been diagrams and he was so patient, whilst trying to explain why two strange men wanted to take his teenage son to Japan to see a witch about an exorcism that Deaton of all people, because being a vet was clearly not enough to keep him busy, had botched. 

At some point the simple definition of "wooh, magic," had appeared and worked so well that both Dick and Stiles had agreed it was the best answer when it was clear that the sheriff was simply not going to understand, Stiles had said it was like someone going "wooh, science" and handed him a book called "the dragon and the george" which explained it better, and which the sheriff was attempting to read, but it was in between having a demanding job and not feeling lonely because the house was so empty he hadn't gotten that far.

"He's a Domovoi, it's not that complicated, Domovoi define their worth in the house elf world by the value of the house they take care of, and so to raise it's value they take care of it, so Dom can say he takes care of the house of a lawkeeper, which counts as a good thing, and so he keeps the house because the better he keeps the house the more status he gains from the house." Stiles' face cracked with a yawn that seemed to emanate from his entire core. "It's like, well it's not like Harry Potter, he won't do what you tell him, he'll do what he damn well likes, and will certainly let you know if he doesn't like a thing, it's not unusual for magic users to form a contract with them, the house in Kyoto is almost lousy with them, they're everywhere and he wanted a house of his own, and Derek was saying that you said the house was too empty and the housework was getting ahead of you," the sheriff wanted to say that wasn't true but there dishwasher hadn't been emptied in nearly a week, he had only changed his bed sheets because he was half convinced they were becoming sentient. He was just so tired from work that it started getting away from him and before he knew it he was never going to catch up.

"Man, I am so knackered," Stiles was not the only international student with the Sumeragi in Kyoto and with a form of Japanese that was really old fashioned that he had picked up from the kitsune he shared his soul with, he had learned a lot of particularly strange British slang, one of which involved the genitalia of a household pet, "I feel like I'm made of noodles, and not the good shit, it's not sapporo quality noodles, it's cup ramen and the cup is leaky. I'm going to go put my head down for a bit, I'll text Derek that I'm back, so yeah, he'll probably show up later." The sheriff nodded to that, it was a wonder he hadn't shown up already. He had missed Stiles as much as the sheriff had, and he brought good beer, the imported stuff no one wanted to pay for. 

\---

The Sheriff didn't see Dom again for several days but he did notice a few things, like how the third step on the stairs suddenly didn't creak. Then there was the grout in his shower which seemed quite a bit whiter than usual. The back bedroom no longer looked like the dumping ground for coats at a party, the suitcases had vanished and the bed was clear, and freshly made which Stiles might have done feeling guilty about the house elf living under their stairs. 

Then the parcel with a large padded and fake fur lined dog bed showed up, which Stiles maintained he hadn't ordered off his dad's amazon account when the domovoi appeared, put his hand around it and dragged it back to his cupboard under the stairs despite the fact it was three times the size he was, and the creature was wearing a tee shirt that had belonged to Stiles that the sheriff was sure he had thrown away over ten years before, but conceded might have been in the pile of clothes that had been on the bed in the spare room, and it looked like it should have been thrown out long since because the design was cracked into intelligibility and there was a large hole on the seam at the left side. He was wearing a pair of shorts and a mismatched pair of shoes that had probably been Stiles' as well.

When Stiles went back to Japan after the holidays, openly admitting he did not want to go back but he knew he had to, and he loved being there when he was there but immediately wanted to come home again because he missed everyone - and the flight was a bitch, the sheriff had seen the domovoi three times. There was the instance with the dog bed, a rather uncomfortable encounter where he had come home to change his shirt and found the creature sat on the couch eating cinnamon grahams and watching "say yes to the dress" where both of them looked like they had been caught doing something both illegal and embarrassing, and the third had the sheriff opening the door to the space under the stairs which was now decorated with soft things and Stiles' old baby blankets, and at least three throw pillows the sheriff had never seen before to ask if he was okay at which point the domovoi hissed at him.

When Derek showed up to make his weekly pasta bake, which fed the sheriff for several meals and was much nicer than pasta baked with sauce had any right to he asked if the oven was cleaner or if he was imagining it, and come to think of it perhaps the windows were brighter. Actually hadn't the curtains been washed, and when the sheriff asked, on skype, if Stiles had done it Stiles had rolled his eyes and said "Dad, you have a domovoi now, he's doing the housework."

Considering the sparkling nature of his grout and the lilac scent the hall carpet was giving off he stopped by the expensive candy store on his way home and picked up an entire barrel of lollipops, as he was unlocking the door, with the badly designed barrel with its candies sticking at random angles from the lid, Mrs Perkins, who lived across the road, decided to make conversation with him. 

"I heard," she started in the way that suggested that she was angling for confirmation of some gossip that was particularly salacious, "that that boy of yours got some girl knocked up and left you with the baby, that Emily at the Walmart saw you with them both, I told her, the sheriff wouldn't let his boy do something like that, what with him being an elected official and all."

Mrs Perkins was not a pleasant woman and she had a rare talent for saying something incredibly offensive in a way that would not get her teeth knocked from her head. 

It left the sheriff with a dilemma, the old bitch was completely in the wrong because not only was Stiles in a long distance monogamous relationship with a male werewolf who at the last check, he did have to be sure, couldn't get pregnant - Peter had spat beer all across the sheriff's parlour when he had been asked - but there was a goblin in the house that looked like a child with pink hair and sharp little shark teeth. He also lived on sugary snacks and had a weird predeliction for recording and watching "Say yes to the dress", although you'd think, with him being a house elf and all it would be more likely to be something involving real estate like that Grand Designs program from the UK that Stiles got for him where people spent money they didn't have building completely random houses. 

"You mean Domovoi?" the sheriff said, "he's a house elf from Russia that Stiles picked up for sale in Japan."

"There is no need to be facetious," Mrs Perkins snapped, "if you don't want to answer the question."

The Domovoi opened the door and grinned at Mrs Perkins with his sharp little shark teeth. "Hi!" he said very clearly copying Stitch from the movie doing the same then chuckling as she bolted.

Later, sat on the couch next to the domovoi - the two of them watching Say yes to the dress, which was nowhere near as empowering as project runway, the sheriff thought about his encounter with Mrs Perkins - well it was not like anyone would believe her anyway, he said and tipped his soda bottle with the domovoi's. And really, the house was cleaner than it had ever been.


End file.
